Expat Files

Expat Files – 08.21.16

August 21, 2016

#1- You’ve heard of the phrase “9 meals from anarchy”? It describes what 1st world people will face soon enough- when the mierda  truly hits the fan up in O’vomitland. Meanwhile here in Latin America, so much ripe fruit literally falls off the trees that the phrase “9 meals from anarchy” seems right out of Disney’s Fantasyland         #2- Loud, stinky, cheap motorcycles have invaded Latin America. We gringos and expats hate them. However to the Latin masses forced to use rickety, unsafe chicken buses they spell freedom. Just being able to afford one is a huge step up the socioeconomic ladder.    #3- The Latin definition of the Latin “American dream” in their own home country is finally being able to move from a motorcycle to a crappy, rattle-trap car… any car. It’s the next big and mostly unobtainable step up the social ladder. Do note that as silly as it sounds, a guy with any type of junk car at all is a chick magnet to the millions of ladies forced by circumstances to ride those horrible chicken buses   #4-Rotten to the core CITI Bank now is in more than 10 Latin countries: Today we have

Expat Files – 08.19.16

August 19, 2016

#1- Update on Gringo’s applying for residency in Latin countries: The residency rules and regs are changing rapidly and getting more complicated by the month. Though as of now, Guatemala residency is still the easiest and least expensive option for gringos who are seeking temporary or permanent residency in Latin America.

Expat Files – 08.14.16

August 14, 2016

#1- Lookism and body part fixations are much more than alive and well in Latin America: starting with the amazingly perfect super-manniqins that can be seen and admired (or hissed at) in virtually all Latin clothing stores.

Expat Files – 08.12.16

August 12, 2016

#1- Thank god for fearless maids and gardeners: A report on varieties of insects, creatures and critters on the property and in the house. The bugs were here first. We’re the interlopers.     #2-Don’t give your dough to organized charities. You feel good for the moment but are just financing the organizer’s lifestyles: The are many ways Expats can give back to the locals and also help the environment in the process. Giving dough to some “do gooder” organization is not one of them. Today we have an excellent example of an Expat doing the right thing..    #3- Why is the 3rd world so… well…. 3rd world? Thank the IMF, the World Bank, the UN and the USA for almost all that is screwed up politically and economically in Latin America.    #4-Capital Punishment in Latin America: All Latin countries once had the death penalty but in the last 30 years most have repealed the law. Why? Would you believe as a condition for obtaining humanitarian aid and structural loans from the IMF and World Bank(most of which have been skimmed and misused or by lard-ass politicians)? Then right afterward, Latin crime skyrocketed and now the Latin pubic is clamoring once again for the death

Expat Files – 08.07.16

August 7, 2016

#1-Recent history indicates that Gringos of two particular professions are ahead of the curve when it comes to arranging their Latin American plan “B”. Can you the professions and why that seems to be the case? #2-Have Latin Americans also fallen onto the first-world political correctness trap? Latins love everything first-world and try to copy our good and bad habits, so why not the PC thing too? Turns out, because Latins have a macho society, things that might seem PC really aren’t. It’s a bit complicated. #3- What’s the state of science and technology in Latin America? Yes, Latins have all the first-world advances and gadgets but they create, invent and patent almost nothing. Its hard to believe that Latin America has almost twice the population of the states, but for every Latin patent filed there are 240 filed in the USA. Latins just don’t have a scientific culture. #4-Today we hit on some rarely discussed yet quite important secondary reasons why gringos and expats should avoid Mexico as a permanent plan “B” destination #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American

Expat Files – 08.05.16

August 5, 2016

#1- Spotting Latin American “Gringo wanabees”: Seems as if every Latin American with a little dough eventually jumps on his own Latin version of the 1st world treadmill. The upper 5% are not looking to have more leisure time or even a calmer lifestyle. Just the opposite. Their quest is all about appearing to be more 1st world hip and affulent than their Latin friends and neighbors. The question is, who cares? While we Gringos and Expats snicker, it’s a serious business to them and other Latins playing the same dumb game.

Expat Files – 07.29.16

July 29, 2016

Descriptions for THE EXPAT FILES SHOW #580- 07-29-2016 (FRI):   #1- Are you a clueless Gringo? The clueless outnumber the smart ones by probably 50 to 1: Why? Because even when clueless ones begin to know the ropes they often take two steps backward simply by hanging with too many of the other clueless gringos:   #2-It takes quality time exploring “off the Gringo tourist trail” with real “boots on the ground” (no camping out in 1st world hotels allowed) to realize your “gringo advantage”. You can remain clueless or get off (or somewhat off) the tourist trail… your choice.     #3- Some inside tips and unsaid cautions concerning new car purchases in Latin America   #4- If you live in a “gated, guarded” Latin neighborhood, you might want to know in general what your “upscale Latin neighbors will be like:Today we’ll give you some insight on what craziness to expect from them.   #5- Why are Latin Public hospitals always in crisis? Yes, they are absolutely medieval, yet studies show they have plenty of funding from local government sources, outside “do gooder” and international agency donors. So then what’s the problem? Today we focus on an actual hospital

Expat Files – 07.24.16

July 24, 2016

Descriptions for THE ExPat Files Show #579 #1 Did you know experts claim the first (or second) most beautiful lake in the world is in Central America? However, only about 1 in 10000 Americans have ever even seen or heard of it. Today we'll go there and check it out.. #2- No OSHA’s or EPA’s exist in Latin America. Though Latin Governments have lazy, blundering, useless staffs that may give lip service to those first world concepts, in reality they are beyond toothless. In many ways that can be a good thing. But then what happens when Gringos and Expats spot obvious health and safety violations up front and personal? Today we have another true story that will make you both laugh and cringe. #3- Indigenous people are 99% Christian but they practice it with a strange twist. Today we'll visit the drinking, smoking, gambling, womanizing bad boy saint, Maximon. He’s the undisputed patron of misdeeds, bad habits and poor lifestyle choices… and you’ll soon find out why. #4-A few words about Air BnB’s in Latin America and the future of the hospitality business #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com #6- Johnny’s next “Latin Insider, Plan ‘B’ Seminar” will be in early January, 2017 . If you want to get on the Earlybird Discount list send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com

Expat Files – 07.22.16

July 22, 2016

Descriptions for TheExPat Files Show #578 #1- Your plan “B” involves moving your assets and 401ks to untouchable locations: here are a few tips #2- Building/Construction and environmental impact studies: Latin countries do require them on certain large and commercial projects. So if you build, what should you expect- besides a few bribes here and there? #3- A few harsh words about how people and businesses pollute in Latin America: #4-Gringo business ideas can come out of the strangest places: today we have some examples #5-Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to:theexpatfiles@gmail.com #6- Johnny’s next “Latin Insider, Plan ‘B’ Seminar” will be in early January, 2017 . If you wish to get on the Earlybird Discount list send an email to theexpatfiles@gmail.com

Expat Files – 07.08.16

July 8, 2016

Descriptions for THE EXPAT FILES SHOW #576 #1- It could only happen in Latin America: Expat Eddie chimes in with another one of his unbelievable but true eye-witness stories #2- Crazy superstitions run rampant in Latin America: so its best not to open your mouth or laugh when you see how nutty and illogical the locals react to that stuff. Never forget that Latins take signs, omens, shamans and neighborhood witches (Brujas) quite seriously. By the way, every burb has a friendly neighborhood “bruja”..and for a few bucks she’ll pull out the Tarot cards, tell your fortune and bring you luck. But can she get a cheating husband back? That’s the #1 request… that’ll take more than one visit and a lot more dough. #3- Things you need to consider if you’re contemplating a trip to the upcoming Brazilian Olympics in Rio #4- Consult with Johnny- Schedule a cell or Skype call: Set up a time to talk and I’ll help you sort out your own specific Latin American “PLAN- B”. Just write “CONSULT” in the subject line with a short list of questions/talking points to: theexpatfiles@gmail.com
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