Authors and relationship coaches Mali and Joe Dunn (www.thesoulmateexperience.com) were guests on the program again. This time we focused on Jealousy – which can show up in an instant and have you feeling insecure, embarrassed, angry, or even out of control. They offer a 23-day self-paced outline course called Overcoming Jealousy. This emotion can be an unpleasant but potent sexual intensifier in which anger is combined with insecurity. Flirtations can be especially unsettling for the possessive and insecure because they are concrete reminders that the flirter finds others sexually appealing and therefore might consider going further. There can be positive effects too: a mate’s desirability can be enhanced by outside confirmation. And then the primary partnership can take the energy home! But when one of them is upset, comfort/reassurance rather than ridicule is needed. Joe and Mali can show you how to harness the energy of jealousy to actually increase the passion in your relationship!
Lou Paget author of five books on sexuality was on the program again (www.LouPaget.com). Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are…Dr. Diana and Lou partially sorted this out by delving into the clitoris and its role in female sexual arousal. The clitoris and its structure with all it erotic components were explored, including the crura. The vestibular bulbs under the outer labia grow and blossom when a woman is sexually aroused. Sometimes the clit is considered the Emerald City of women’s orgasmic response. If a woman is “spectatoring” – i.e., observing herself during sex, not in an erotic mirror-on-the ceiling sort of way, but in a judgmental critical way – she is less likely to be sexually satisfied and reach orgasm. Mindfulness is a practice that may help! Kinsey in one of his books observed, “Cheese crumbs spread in front of a copulating pair of rats may distract the female, but not the male.” Lou and Diana enjoyed a lively discussion – including talking about Amy Schumer’s latest photo shoot. She is comfortable with her body—proclaiming, “I’m 155 pounds and can get laid any day!”
Dr. Charlie Glickman (www.MakeSexEasy.com) is a sex and relationship coach, sex educator, and a sexological bodyworker – bringing to this program some fascinating areas for discussion. He and Dr. Diana looked at an important question: How do you reconnect with your pleasure? Dr. Charlie offered some great tips for sexual communication: talk when you are not having sex; talk on a car ride or on a walk (not being face to face can be helpful); say what it is you want. In general he advises: “Talking about sex is like preparing food…You have to get into the kitchen to give it a try.” Overcoming sexual shame was another topic. Guilt and shame are funny things…without them, some become sloppy and unmotivated. Yet with too much guilt and shame, folks can become at war with themselves. On his website, you will notice he offers a 30-minute consultation without cost. Part 2 will air on December 15th, and we’ll discuss prostate pleasure (his book is The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure), open relationships, and BDSM. Tune in, please!
Mali Apple and Joe Dunn are relationship coaches, lovers, best friends, and authors of award-winning books The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships – and the newly released sequel The Soulmate Lover: A Guide to Passionate and Lasting Love, Sex and Intimacy. Dr. Diana and this dynamic couple discussed sexual healing…how couples can transform sexual concerns and challenges into deeper intimacy. Lingering issues from the past can impact the ability for vulnerability and reciprocity. For more, visit www.thesoulmateexperience.com where you can see Joe and Mali interacting on videos and get information about their books. They will return for Part 2 December 8th.
Lou Paget, a frequent guest, is the author of five books – www.LouPaget.com – which deliver information about sexuality and relationships with accuracy and fun! Dr. Diana and Lou reconnected recently in Seattle for a Program in Human Sexuality (PHS) where the University of Minnesota has established the first Chairs in Sexual Health headed up by Dr. Eli Coleman (www.sexualhealth.umn.edu). The meeting was organized by Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the AARP Ambassador for Relationships and Sexuality. Joycelyn Elders, MD, was the featured speaker. (She is an inspiration! Remember when she was hired and later fired by President Bill Clinton?) Lou and Dr. Diana also discussed aging and sexuality – and the health benefits of sex. There will be a Part 2 very soon!
Bradley Coates, Esq., (www.CoatesandFrey.com) is the author of “DIVORCE with DECENCY – The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor’s Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economics, and Social Issues.” Brad and Diana are friends: the first appearance on her radio show was in Honolulu in 1999 when the First Edition of his book was published. Now he’s about to publish his Fifth Edition. The topic for this program was Romantic Relationships in this Modern Millennium. Unmarried cohabitation is on the rise…What are the ripple effects? Legally, the Paternity Calendars as well as the Domestic Abuse Calendars are full. The children often suffer because happy adults usually produce happy children. Modern couples often want it all: intimacy and autonomy, reassurance, safety and novelty, coziness but with thrills. Personal growth can occur after breakups – and as Bradley Coates says, “Keep your eyes open. Learn and improve!” Listen to this program; it’s likely you too will learn and improve!
Did you know that October is Kink Month? What better way to acknowledge and celebrate kink than with Dr. Susan Block! She returned to the program with a focus on Bonobo BDSM. Her book is “THE BONOBO WAY – The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure” (www.BonoboWay.com), and there are many comparisons between humans and bonobos. People who practice BDSM tend to prioritize sex – they make time for it, they’re accepting of their sexuality, and they communicate openly with their partner. With bonobos there is a dominant/submissive hierarchy; in managing their aggression, they turn it into sex, keeping the peace. In their matriarchal communities, the females share the rule, brokering peace. In fact, all those interested in human happiness should read this book!
Dr. Serena McKenzie, N.D. and Dr. Diana have collaborated for almost six years, sharing hundreds of cases using a mind-body approach. We see that medical factors have strong psychosexual components. Dr. Serena is the Medical Director for the Northwest Healthy Sexuality Center in Kirkland, WA (www.nwhealthysexuality.com) where she specializes in evaluation and treatment of wide variety of sexual concerns. Addyi, the newly FDA approved “pink Viagra” was the focus of this program (www.addyi.com). Dr. Serena is an approved provider for this drug, and it will be available October 17, 2015. She sees Addyi as one tool for low female desire…women who want to want. She educates her patients; so, they are making an informed choice. It is an informed option. You have an option to listen to this show – please do!
The show was a heartfelt tribute to Candida Royalle whose activism made it OK for women to claim sexual pleasure as their own. Dr. Diana’s friend of some 28 years died two weeks ago of ovarian cancer. Candida – “Candice” – observed, “I wasn’t interested in making the same old, typical, boring pornography…I wanted it to be something that women could enjoy.” On PRN November 26, 2013 Dr. Diana presided over a stellar panel consisting of Candida Royalle, pioneer filmmaker of female-friendly erotic movies; Nina Hartley, porn star and sex educator (“Sex is my subject, as an artist, activist, scientist and healer”); and Richard Pacheco (Howie Gordon), an award winning star from the Golden Age of Porn. Howie’s book “HINDSIGHT” is especially hilarious! Nina’s book is also quite wonderful: “NINA HARTLEY’S GUIDE to TOTAL SEX.” Nina and Howie paid tribute to Candida with some fascinating insights and memories of the times they worked with her. In honor of Candida Royalle, why not enjoy one of her films or toys (Natural Contours) and have an amazing orgasm in her name? I believe she would like that!
Dr. Dudley Danoff, MD, FACS, a world renowned urologist, returned to the program – and this is his sixth time! His book “Penis Power – The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health” has been re-published with the title “The Ultimate Guide to Men’s Sexual Health” – www.TheUltimateGuidetoMensHealth.com. He has added to the superb content of his first book. Dr. Danoff and Dr. Diana offered the audience a “Penis I.Q. Quiz.” A discussion of the new FDA approved drug – the so-called “Pink Viagra” – was addressed as well. Female sexuality is complicated: women need to feel safe and comfortable before their hypothalamus sends out signals that they’re ready for sex. Foreplay for women is everything that happens 24 hours before sex. For men, it’s three minutes before insertion. Dr. Danoff, a truly wise man, knows that the greatest aphrodisiac is love itself. Lovers can be tender and playful one moment, fiery and erotic another. Great sex is at its finest, an emotional connection – with good skills backed by informed knowledge.